I am the one in the hole
I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME.
6 Jun '12 | 2:34pm |934 notes
via:cosmicplants-deactivated2014031 | ori:harlequinpants
  1. howlingskys reblogged this from jamtav
  2. gamreziparade reblogged this from harlequinpants
  3. gothmorghulis reblogged this from harlequinpants
  4. definitelynotsara reblogged this from soulqueeen
  5. fangirl2750 reblogged this from harlequinpants
  6. basswoonin reblogged this from harlequinpants
  7. starryrenegade reblogged this from dreamingaboutkarkat
  8. dreamingaboutkarkat reblogged this from satan2dope
  9. satan2dope reblogged this from harlequinpants
  10. unnatural-any reblogged this from reyairia
  11. officerbooty-reporting-for-duty reblogged this from reyairia
  12. saragtm reblogged this from anaddfictedweirdo
  13. anaddfictedweirdo reblogged this from drgnsmile
  14. drgnsmile reblogged this from candyparadox
  15. candyparadox reblogged this from r0gu3-0f-h34r7
  16. d4b0ss92 reblogged this from gagtrip
  17. kaitkatchan reblogged this from reyairia
  18. rangersigma reblogged this from torchwood-team
  19. gagtrip reblogged this from reyairia
  20. torchwood-team reblogged this from fedoralover69
  21. r0gu3-0f-h34r7 reblogged this from ultimateanimeviolinist
  22. ultimateanimeviolinist reblogged this from reyairia
  23. baboople reblogged this from reyairia