Jim
I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME.

Dear Lord, she is such a pretty!

She makes me go asdfjkñlasdkjghasdñklgj.

8 Jun '12 | 10:04pm |463 notes
via:fuckoff-pls | ori:radi0active-wildfl0wer
  1. maybe-this-time reblogged this from radi0active-wildfl0wer
  2. fresh-biscuits reblogged this from hiatusbound
  3. kn1ght0fsp4c3 reblogged this from yabbyabb
  4. prince-slowpoke reblogged this from jimfaindel
  5. dothrakaan reblogged this from sohryuasukalangley
  6. leahltercation reblogged this from vampireanton
  7. vampireanton reblogged this from sirfriedelschlintz
  8. minat0arisato reblogged this from cassiecloud
  9. alilmeenah reblogged this from linkscommandcenter
  10. linkscommandcenter reblogged this from kallentelos
  11. gibby-wankenobi reblogged this from not-shinigamixeyes
  12. kyoanus reblogged this from rnomoi
  13. hannibalchoo reblogged this from rnomoi
  14. rnomoi reblogged this from mcnuggie
  15. sexiandsugoi reblogged this from velociraptier
  16. facedeskidiot reblogged this from velociraptier
  17. erejeanmin reblogged this from knightlala
  18. mukurosoldier reblogged this from mrsoowadamondo
  19. r41nbowrumpus reblogged this from cassiecloud
  20. nharmoniaz reblogged this from actualprincesshajime
  21. actualprincesshajime reblogged this from waifutrash
  22. slyazul reblogged this from pyronaynia
  23. pyronaynia reblogged this from cassiecloud
  24. cervibabe reblogged this from fubarbertolt
  25. fubarbertolt reblogged this from fondlyregarded
  26. franklin-delano-roosevelt reblogged this from fondlyregarded
  27. alabasandria reblogged this from butt-inspector
  28. curiouslikeclockwork reblogged this from sirfriedelschlintz
  29. flovverfairy reblogged this from nearlymonalisa
  30. the-universes-best-dressed reblogged this from fondlyregarded
  31. butt-inspector reblogged this from hamburgerking