Jim
I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME.

miggrator:

hussiebot:

mrkibbles:

napalmarts:

phemiec:

This is a song about a whale. NO. This is a song about being Eridan.

An Eridan Ampora fansong. I recorded this with a sore throat so maybe i’m nuts for posting it, but I sorta liked the outcome even if it isn’t perfect. :)

~

I am a prince and I live in a ship and I aim my rifle and I shoot from the hip 
and I have a friend I pity quite a bit 
she said “grab your gun let’s have some fun, share with me your perigees 
I have responsibilities, I cannot run!”

“I do not wish the death of any living thing, I might be a killer but one day I shall be queen and put an end to slaughter, but until then I’m keen on staking claim to land and sea and everyfin between.”

I played a game with eleven fools who told me not to break the rules 
but when have angels ever helped me yet? 
and magic isn’t real and anyway it doesn’t matter 
cause no matter what I conjure it could not help be me deflect

the angry death of every hopeful thought 
that I might be a lover or a fighter that I’m not 
in someones spider web or net I could be caught 
but I’m too bitter, better off alone, guess I forgot

So what? Do you want me to say sorry? 
should I apologize, when you ignore me? 
I didn’t ask to be right or to be lonely 
or to be hatched into an ugly story

I am a prince and I had a pair of princesses in two sharp squares 
but then I guess I bored them both to death 
And now I think my calling is to break apart and fall to pieces 
better yet invent a brand new method of ascension

I’m impressed, you’ve managed to survive 
but rest assured we’d all be better off dead than alive 
cause when they get a-hold of us we’ll all be batter fried 
and I’m surprised that nobody’s considered switching sides

So here I am, respectfully and royally destroying 
any chance of getting back on your good gills 
And I don’t want to be hurtful but if yellows the new purple 
well then bleeding’s the new breathing, don’t you think I will!

I used to wish the death of every living thing 
I might be your killer but you’d never be my queen 
so put away your laughter, pack up your hopes and dreams 
I’m done with black back-handing and red pandering, it seems

That I am just pathetic, I won’t be overlooked 
I’m past the point of fishing to get back upon your hook 
I’ve made a manifesto, I’ve been bested by a crook, but never more! 
I’m planning on reclaiming what he took…

So what? do you want me to say sorry? 
should I apologize, when you ignore me? 
I didn’t ask to be right or to be lonely 
or to be hatched into an ugly story 
to be hatched into an ugly story

Oh my, this pantomime is getting gory

I am a prince and I live in a ship 
I am a prince and I live in a ship

~

cod damn

NEEDS MORE NOTES

JUST WOW

holy f

I’m still in love with this song

And after that… it does get gory.

20 Jun '12 | 12:32pm |11,516 notes
via:miggrator | ori:phemiec
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  11. theslitherydee reblogged this from machiavellianaristrocrat and added:
    God, I love this. It’s in my top three favorite PhemieC songs.
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  13. estebandiaz8 reblogged this from lordticklefish and added:
    OMG YOU DID AN AMAZING FRIKING JOB :D
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