Jim Faindel
I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME.

reiburger:

i guess somebody told him about liquid courage

★ looking through the cronus tag ★

himaryua:

what i hoped to find:

what i actuALLY FOUND:

So finally the homestuck fandom starts to realize that they are referencing the world, not the other way around.

altias:

mspa:

Your name is KANDAN AMPYAM, and you are having a MILD CASE OF CONFUSION. Your trolltag is grimAquarium, and… …WWell You Do Not Wwant To Discuss Your Awwful Quirk.

i am literally in tears i

Perfection in it’s ultimate form.

★ theory time dsfklj ★

docezio:

davestridersbabygravy:

uu’s note to Calliope said he would “paint everything with her blood, even his words” 

and the Lord English writes (or whatever) in LIME. Calliope’s blood color. SO; this is just a theory that uu will possibly be Lord English. i don’t know if someone has already said this though oops

i’m reblogging this just because theres a hEAD OF LETTUCE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POST AND I CANT FIGURE OUT WHY

I had this theory a while back.

Also, why?

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kawaiifarts: